I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize