How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
