i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
