Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize