Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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