Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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