Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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