You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
