Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
