ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Your penis caused this!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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