wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
