just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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