Michael Bay diarrhea
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Well I just put wine in my tea
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
