you would pick up someone in the library
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
