I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize