Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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