I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
