Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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