The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He did a backflip because drugs
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
