The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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