i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I have feelings that need drinking.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
