There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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