their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
