I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
