my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
