So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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