no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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