Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
