Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize