Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
