my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
