Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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