Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
