Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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