Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
