Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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