it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
