Duck Duck Cougar?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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