Apparently you make a good broom.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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