Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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