oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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