This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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