I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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