He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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