Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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