Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
accomplished twins. life is a go
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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