I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She's the barista slut.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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