I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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