I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
