dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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