k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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