u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
