...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
