Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize