ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
