Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
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He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
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i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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