You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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