he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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