I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
